Friday, August 12, 2011


today started out kinda slow....i couldn't wake up. it was so hard to get motivated to do anything. I didn't do anything, I just laid there and did nothing.

By the time hubby came home, i had made coffee and drunk a large cup.....he had one and i had another large cup, almost finished one pot!!! Thats not normal for me.

He was on facebook, and ended up being added to a group from our old elementary school. I had him add me and it was so much fun reminiscing about when we first met and the way school was. The lunches at school. Just everything about the christian school we went to. Unfortunately its closed now....but it was a small school and it was wonderful talking to people who were older than me and remembered more than me. I went to many different schools and barely remember my kindergarten/first grade school.

I have had dreams of this white building for years, it was white with columns in front....there were pine trees lining the road on either side of the drive. There was a big rock in front of the white building in the yard. I just found out that this dream i've been having was the school i went to for kindergarten. I was amazed!!!

I can't believe its been almost a week since I last wrote. I was getting ready for a trip that didn't happen due to a family member going into the hospital. So the trip has been postponed. I have been getting my music on my mp3 player....thats part of getting ready for this trip. My mom and I always groove to music on road trips.

blah anyways thats enough rambling. i'm going to go play on facebook for now.

Monday, August 8, 2011

thought of the day...

so I've been looking through blogs and I don't know if everyone uses magazine pictures in their blogs of houses or apartments and claim those as their own homes or if people REALLY have houses that look like magazines.

I can tell you 100% I do not live in a home that looks like a magazine or anything close to a magazine. Unless its the before picture. You know the one that's disorganized, and has piles of stuff all over and everything isn't in pretty cabinets. My house is lived in, and disorganized. I have been trying to get everything organized, and make homes for everything. I think I'm going to get up right now and walk through my house and take pictures of each room and date them.....and see how much better/worse it gets.  I still have a little bit of a phobia of putting pictures of my house (inside or out) online for everyone to see. Its like asking someone to come and rob my house, its like here you go, I cased the place for you and here is the photographic evidence. I may put the 2 most used rooms on my blog, but not sure yet.

I'm still trying to work on my household notebook. I have so many projects going right now. I have at least 4 if not more crochet projects going, and at least 2 of those are needing to be sewn on to jeans or some kind of material. I also have my "travel" room project that I'm trying to work on, but....well, thats not going well. Its hard when you have to depend on people for help....because you're not a priority to strangers or friends. I mean do you think of your friends, or some strangers you are "friends" with on facebook when your raising your kids or living your life?! Be honest now, I think not!

My mom called me the other day, we had a conversation that I never thought would happen in my life. She had met some drag queens in Joann's and she ended up talking to them and found out they make a good deal on making costumes for drag shows. She called me and talked to me and my hubby about possibly making costumes for drag shows to help make money. I don't know if its that I'm not sure of myself, or that I keep myself from being creative for fear of failing or sucking....but I just can't see me doing that. I mean it would be cool to do something like that.

I'm afraid of trying because I'm afraid of sucking or failing. I'm also scared of trying creative things because if i'm using things around the house, if I mess up, I can't replace it or try again because I only have one of things. I'm confined by finances. I mean hubby and I leave the house once every 2 weeks for food and gas shopping, and other than that, he goes to work, and eats there so he doesn't have to use any more gasoline. We can't afford adding ANYTHING else to our budget. Its getting ridiculous with how tight our budget is.

Ok, I'm starting to ramble again, and I'm starting to fall asleep too, so i think i'm going to get off here and work on something tho i'm not sure what tho. Thanks for reading if you are!! :D

Friday, August 5, 2011


So today has been completely unfulfilling. I wish I was able to be invisible, or to not be me for the day. I can't walk due to what i think is a cyst on the bottom of my foot. Its huge and killing me. I'm tired of being the woman/girl who is always unhealthy, and something is always wrong.

Again, my mother-in-law is sending money to help us. I know they are having a rough month too. They have had crap happen this month...but still she comes up with funds to help us. I want Nathan (hubby) and I to be able to make it on our own, but somehow it seems like that may not be God's plan. Its just tiring having to ask for help to be able to see a doctor, or get the medicine I need. Nathan asked for $15 out of the $60 we got selling stuff last month and I went off on him. Its so unfair, he works non stop and does everything for me and takes time off when I'm having surgery. Yet, when he asks for $15 for a game to play  with his brother I go off. This month I put it in the budget no matter how broke we are, because he deserves it.

I'm the worst blogger there is. I'm dying to be creative, but am limited by funds. There for I am not able to do what I want to do. I'm not able to be creative in a creative way, because I'm always looking at other people's ideas and wanting to do that. I'm not creative in an original creative way.

Ugh, I'm having a lets feel sorry for me day, and its so hard not being able to escape from my head.To get out of my head, I write.  So I'm using this blog as a diary, more than anything else I guess.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

my hand in too many pots

Instead of too many hands in the pot, its I have my hand in too many pots. Or at least it feels that way. I'm EASILY over whelmed right now, and I don't even have to do anything to get that way.

So today I'm sitting here over whelmed realizing I have too many projects going. If I showed you a picture of my living room, you'd probably be shocked. I have 4 tubs sitting in front of my couch. One is full of bags I made (the ones I posted yesterday), one is yarn and w.i.p.s (aka Work In Progress) one is another project I have (one that i mentioned as another post - the one with license plates, key chains, and maps. then the last tub, honestly is being used for a table. lol. I'm trying to rid the house of stuff I don't need, or that hubby and I don't use.

Going through menopause and sometimes spurts of depression, isn't helping either. I'm sitting here for the last two or three days and I have done NOTHING. I've been bawling my eyes out. Its crazy. I hate being this way.

I'm trying to motivate myself. Last week I did good, I read 14 chapters of Genesis, and I put all my laundry away. I did the dishes last week to where they were all clean. This week I have sat and cried and have done nothing else.

My mom is wanting me in Wv to help her with my grandparents (who aren't talking to me), and to be there for her...she has a knee injury. My sister in law wants me in florida to help her move. I have no money to go either place. I'd rather go to florida then to WV. Wv feels like a prison sentence to me. I feel like I'm reverting to childhood again where I do what I'm expected and I have no thoughts, feelings or opinions. I hate it there. Its not a happy place for me. I'm ready to break apart even thinking of west virginia. Florida has never been my favorite place, but my brother his wife and their kids are there. I have lately been growing closer to my sister in law. She calls me and just talks or asks questions or to just talk to an adult, since she's a stay at home mom.

My hubby and I are having a hell of a time staying afloat. I'm not sure as of this minute if we are going to have $66 for 2 weeks for food and gas or if we're going to have $166 for food and gas for 2 weeks. Either way its not enough. I'm still having to put my health on hold since we don't have enough for copayments and prescriptions.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

stuff to sell...

I have SO many bags I have made or my momma has made. Some are based on patterns and some are original designs. I just need to come up with prices for each. but here are the pictures. let me know if your interested in any of them. here they come.

Apron, wash cloth, 2 pot holders, 2 iron skillet handle covers, hand towel, plastic bag holder, 2 hot mits

based on the swirling bag pattern. small

no pattern, 3 sided bag - i don't have this one anymore, but can make more like it

based on swirling bag pattern, 2 tone green. 

little girl purse

small bag hunter green and white

ruffled bag, no handle

small bag

based on swirling bag pattern, hunter green and white with red and green flecks

based on swirling bag pattern, cammoish colors

based on swirling bag pattern, blue and white

based on swirling bag pattern, its self striping red green and off white

ruffled bag with handle

card holder

based on swirling bag pattern, dark blue and pink

little bag blue and white

water bottle holder

no pattern 3 sided bag - no longer have this, but can make more like it

based on swirling bag pattern, self striping red green and off white

4 sided bag no pattern - no longer have this, but can make more like it

weird bag squared bottom, no pattern self striping red green and off white

based on swirling bag pattern, scrappy bag multi colored. bigger bag

this is my favorite bag, its made of paris yarn. it lays flat, and you can use the strap to tie around your wrist or just hold on to it. It has a draw string. 

just a little round bag

pencil case with jewel hanging off the top. no pattern

based on swirling bag pattern, varrying yello and other verigated yarn

based on swirling bag pattern, cammoish color. larger

based on swirling bag pattern, verigated yarn

little bag no pattern, off white and green

little blue and white bag, no pattern

soft eye glass case, self striping yarn, red green off white

4 pannel bag, with flap, lays flat

white and dark blue bag, i think i made it out of nylon. I LOVE this bag too.

off white and denim color bag, no pattern

no pattern, off white, soft soft bag. 

round bottom with green edging, verigated top. no handle

itty bitty bag, cover for bunn in hair?? i dunno. 

this is mildly based off a pattern from the 70's or 80's i think. its made to tie around your waist or knot the ends and wear it around your neck!? its dark blue and pink. 

little back pack, with pocket on front. no pattern. 

back of the back pack

super soft little bag, no pattern

blue and white drawstring bag

based on swirling bag pattern, verigated yarn

big orangy bag. no pattern. good project bag.

based on swirling bag pattern, green top with bottom white with flecks of red and green

soft little bag. lays flat. no pattern

big green bag, based on swirling bag pattern

self striping bag with off white on top and handle. 

cell phone case

draw string bag

this is just a little bag, it covers a wipey container

blue beach bag

i love this yarn, it stripes different colors in with the grayish yarn. there is a flap and a strap in gray. with a wonderful playful triangle button

dusty rose pot holder set. 2 pot holders and 2 cast iron handle covers

black and white pot holder set. 2 pot holders and 1 cast iron handle cover

various pot holders

denim blue pot holders

various pot holders