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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

my hand in too many pots

Instead of too many hands in the pot, its I have my hand in too many pots. Or at least it feels that way. I'm EASILY over whelmed right now, and I don't even have to do anything to get that way.

So today I'm sitting here over whelmed realizing I have too many projects going. If I showed you a picture of my living room, you'd probably be shocked. I have 4 tubs sitting in front of my couch. One is full of bags I made (the ones I posted yesterday), one is yarn and w.i.p.s (aka Work In Progress) one is another project I have (one that i mentioned as another post - the one with license plates, key chains, and maps. then the last tub, honestly is being used for a table. lol. I'm trying to rid the house of stuff I don't need, or that hubby and I don't use.

Going through menopause and sometimes spurts of depression, isn't helping either. I'm sitting here for the last two or three days and I have done NOTHING. I've been bawling my eyes out. Its crazy. I hate being this way.

I'm trying to motivate myself. Last week I did good, I read 14 chapters of Genesis, and I put all my laundry away. I did the dishes last week to where they were all clean. This week I have sat and cried and have done nothing else.

My mom is wanting me in Wv to help her with my grandparents (who aren't talking to me), and to be there for her...she has a knee injury. My sister in law wants me in florida to help her move. I have no money to go either place. I'd rather go to florida then to WV. Wv feels like a prison sentence to me. I feel like I'm reverting to childhood again where I do what I'm expected and I have no thoughts, feelings or opinions. I hate it there. Its not a happy place for me. I'm ready to break apart even thinking of west virginia. Florida has never been my favorite place, but my brother his wife and their kids are there. I have lately been growing closer to my sister in law. She calls me and just talks or asks questions or to just talk to an adult, since she's a stay at home mom.

My hubby and I are having a hell of a time staying afloat. I'm not sure as of this minute if we are going to have $66 for 2 weeks for food and gas or if we're going to have $166 for food and gas for 2 weeks. Either way its not enough. I'm still having to put my health on hold since we don't have enough for copayments and prescriptions.