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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

realizing...

I'm sitting here watching tv. I see a commercial about ovaries, or birth control, or pads, and its hitting me....I don't have those parts in me anymore. I'm like OMG really!?! I don't have ovaries, or cysts, or uterus. I don't have any of them anymore. 

I understood what I was asking for when I asked for the surgery, but now that I'm healed, its really starting to hit home. I don't have these parts. I don't have a prayer of getting pregnant. I'm 28 years old and I'm in menopause. I have hot flashes. I have night sweats. I don't sleep well. Do I regret having this surgery done? No. But its just starting to hit me. Right after the surgery I was nothing but happy since I wasn't bleeding anymore. I went from going through a large (28) bag of heavy over night pads a week to nothing. I went from hemorrhaging to not and knowing that I won't do that again. 

I am learning to relive my life, and feel like I will have to keep learning how to live in a new way. I am having to be in a body that is going through things "normal" women don't deal with until they are in their 40's or 50's. Its a little hard to deal with sometimes.